By Daniel Ehrenhaft
1) Lose my virginity
2) express regret to Rachel
3) come back at Biff
4) Jam and occasion with Shakes the Clown
5) snort in death’s face
6) visit Africa
7) Rob a bank
8) inform Mark to screw himself
9) discover why Grandpa and Dad don't talk
10) inform the truth
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Extra resources for 10 Things to Do Before I Die
The sky splits down the middle and the ground beneath your feet turns inside out. ' You reach for EJ in sudden alarm, but he is shivering in his scabbard and won't come out. You shake you head to clear it and discover you are standing on a featureless, well-lighted plain, devoid of vegetation. Striding towards you is a totally bald, club-wielding giant of extremely threatening aspect. Around his neck hangs a crystal pendant which reflects beams of terrifying light. He halts and stares down at you.
A good question. You may commit yourself to entering this weird illusory castle at 76. Or skirt round the back at 69. Or backtrack to safer parts at 48. ' A ragged cheer rises up from those still standing and the delegation mills around tripping over its feet in an attempt to provide you with an escort. In the end you tire of waiting and stride forward boldly, leaving them to follow or not in their own good time. But you have walked no more than a hundred yards when there arises up from behind a hillock one of the most terrifying sights you have ever seen: a bearded giant of a man with fierce eye, knotted muscle and sporran running badly to mange.
By the Hokey Man (as Celtic adventurers are wont to exclaim), now that the name has been mentioned, you can see it is the MacHoot himself, the same champion Pogolfit player who once drove you feet first through the earth and into a series of tunnels which led to the Ghastly Kingdom of the Dead. Now it looks as if this muscle-bound idiot wants another sporting match before you proceed. To engage in wrestling the MacHoot, proceed exactly as you would for combat, except that bringing LIFE POINTS below 10 ends the contest and even bringing them (accidentally) below zero will not cause death.